


How Old Are You?

by orphan_account



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Is this even good, Multi, i am a mess who writes this stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 11:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2346071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint can't remember Kate's birthday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Old Are You?

"CLINT PUT THE FUTZING HEARING AIDS IN OR SO HELP ME I WILL THROW YOUR STEREO OUT THE WINDOW." Kate yelled.

"AW COME ON, KATIE-KATE. YOU LOVE PRINCE! YOUR TWO FAVORITE THINGS; TINY MAN BUTTS AND PURPLE." Clint yelled back humorously as he put his hearing aids in.

There they were, Clint and his brother Barney sat on the couch drinking beers and singing along to the songs of Prince. Barney wheeled over to Kate and turned the stereo down for her. He smiled and handed her a beer.

"Nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono. Barney what the hell? She just turned ten." Clint chuckled.

"Oh, I've aged." Kate said cracking the beer open. "Do you even know how old I am?"

"Yeah how old are you?" Barney asked wheeling closer to her.

"You're a hoot Barney." Clint sneered.

"You've known me since I was a teenager and you don't know how old I am?" Kate crossed her arms.

"Well I have a estimation." Clint took the beer away from her.

"Hey, I was going to drink that." she said.

"So you're either twenty-one or older than twenty-one..." Barney tapped his fingers against each other.

"There's no way she's older than twenty-one. She looks like a little kid. Oh my god where did she go?" Clint 360 searched for her.

"I'm getting dressed!" she called from her room.

Barney went forward but was stopped by Clint's foot and pushed back. "You're too old for Peggy Carter, you nitwit." he grumbled.

"You've got to find out how old she is, bro." Barney shrugged at him.

"You've got to stop hitting on her." Clint said as he walked to her room, "Bro."

"You better knock." she warned him.

Clint knocked and began drumming to a classic rock song. "Oh shit, sorry. I just get so lost in that song."

"Open up, dummy. I'm already ready." She opened the door. "How do I look?"

"Like a punk." Clint rolled her eyes. Black skinny jeans, light purple V-neck shirt and purple heels.

Kate smirked and walked past him. "Hate to leave so soon, kids. But I have a date."

"A date?" they both said in tandem.

"Yeah, you should try it sometime." She pet the dog and left.

* * *

"Hey Maria. It's Clint. I'm sure you're busy with some, uh... whatever you do now, which reminds me, I'm over my existential crisis and ready to get back out into the world and we should hang out like the old days. Platonically. Anyway, I know you and Kate know each other I was wondering if you knew when her birthday was. Thanks, bye!"

"Hey! Tony, Mister Stark! So you know the Bishop- oh, well I didn't know you hated her dad. Well who doesn't he's a tool. I know, who'd a thunk he'd be a- yeah I'll hold. So anyways, about Dick- Oh you have to save the day? Don't sweat it, man. We'll catch up later!"

"Hey Wanda, you know Kate... yeah Kate Bishop. Wanda? You there? Whatever. If you can still hear me, do me a favor and bring you sons back. They knew how to have a good time. Not that I hung out with them much... but that one time after that one thing..."

"Jess, hey I know you despise me and all but how old is Kate? You know the one that looks like you and Maria and countless other Avengers... you know with the sass... the one you preached to about hanging out with me because I'm a loser. Yeah Kate. How- aw man."

"Thor can you hear me? It's Clint, your adoptive brother is a tool. I don't care if he's redeemed himself. How old is Kate? NO DON'T ASK HIM. BYE THUNDER MAN... BIRDMAN OUT!"

"Hey Bucky, it's Clint. I bet you're busy- oh, oh hey man. Oh, no it's fine. Well tell Sam I said hi. You're not with Sam, oh cool. Well, see you when you get back."

"Hey Eli. You're a tool. You broke Kate's heart. How old is she again?"

"Roseanne Barr? OH! Noh-Varr, yeah you know Kate how o- excuse me young man, you and her did. I've lost you. Is that Peter Quill I hear, that dude is a riot..."

"America? Yes I am a boy, please don't call me Mr. Barton. Not even my father was respectable enough to be called Mr. Barton. Hawkeye is just fine... well see, we share the name. I think we're both pretty worthy of it. Yeah, she's the best and that's why I need you to answer just one question. Is she old enough to drink? DID YOU HANG UP?"

"Hey Phil! Oh man is it nice to talk to you. Remember Kate? Yeah, the other cellist. Oh, you're fighting New Wave HYDRA? Without me? Oh don't sweat it. If you need some help, hit me up. I've always got my bow ready."

"Sam my bird man, you want to hang out. I need to get away from the apartment with my brother and I heard you were in town. Excellent, meet you up.

* * *

"I give up, Barney. I guess I'll just have to ask her or give up." Clint said drinking his beer.

"Who?" Sam asked chuckling.

"Kate." Barney chuckled along with him.

Sam nearly spit his beer out. "You don't know how old your best friend is? Man, that's pretty sad."

"Hey man, we're not that close. We don't share everything, it's not like some cliché teenage girl 90s movie friendship. We don't cut our fingers and mix our blood together and drink it, we shoot people through the eye with our arrows and eat pizza." Clint shrugged and drank.

"Just ask her, man." Sam smiled. "It's Kate, she'll understand."

"Yeah. She's Kate." Barney nudged his brother.

* * *

"Hey Clint, it's Tasha. I'm sorry I haven't called in a while. I'm glad to hear you're okay. I didn't know what to say when I heard the news. I guess that sounds wrong, god damn it. Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling better. When I get back, we should plan a welcome home/glad you're better/happy twenty-first birthday for you and Kate. I miss you, Clint Barton. I really do. Stay safe, make sure Kate doesn't leave you again. You two need each other."

"She's always breaking you heart, isn't she?" Barney asked smugly.

"Shut up, Barney."

"Honey, I'm home." Kate called from the doorway.

"Hey Katie-Kate. Did you have fun?" Clint asked.

"Uh, yeah." she smiled. "Are you two wasted or something?"

"I am, but he ate a bunch of wings so he's totally sober. What about you, are you sober?" Barney winked.

"I am completely sober, want me to breathe into a breathalyzer for proof- don't answer that." she laughed.

They all laughed and Lucky jumped up on the couch with the three of them. A tiny family, they were. A better family than Barney and Clint could've asked for.


End file.
